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What a wonderful book! I rarely read books besides Eat Pray Love, but I couldn’t help but finish a few chapters of 50 Shades of Grey! Ms. Steele, the main lady in the book, reminds me of myself when I was younger. I was so naive back then. Thank god I grew up quickly and got over my silly “dating phase.” I’m so glad I got that whole sleeping around business out of my system! Shhhhh! don’t tell my hubby, he thinks I only had some flings in college with a few baseball players. Anyway… getting married to my hubby was a critical step in growing up. My psychologist actually recommended the marriage because she wanted me to stop getting my heart broken by abusive players. I told my psychologist that I’m done with one night stands… it just lead me to constant heart break and made my pussy constantly feel worn out. One time I thought it might even fall off!! I had to slow down because I don’t want anyone to think I’m a slut, I mean It’s not like i’m a used car, I’m a woman LOL. However I do still have fantasies. I mean as a woman, I can still dream! Right? RIGHT??? I don’t need anyone’s permission to have fantasies! Anyway, a man like Mr. Grey is so intriguing and sexy with all his power. I was so turned on, before I knew it I had made it to the 3rd chapter in one sitting!!! The size of his office, his desk… reading about all that power just makes me swoon. I’d NEVER let my hubby find out I read 50 Shades of Grey, he might think that I’m not thinking about him, and that’s a big fat no no!

Recently I had an experience that reminded me of some of the things I read in 50 shades of grey. I was at a party with my girlfriends and after a few drinks they introduced me to a man that is very successful (like Mr. Grey). “Jennifer, this is Dwayne.” As soon I caught glimpse of his stately looking face, I got a little wet. He shook my hand and introduced himself with a gentle yet firm and assertive handshake. “Hi, I’m Dwayne.” I tried so hard not to blush. I couldn’t help myself, but he saw it and smiled with an impassive expression on his face. I was totally had. I asked him what he does, and he told me, “bail bonds, I’m the leading bail bondsmen of the state.” After he said that, what was I to do? I had a successful bad boy on my hands. We started talking and he invited me down to his office. I couldn’t help but think, this is just like the book! I had to visit him, I was so excited! The next night I got a text from Dwayne, he told me to come down to his office. I tried my best to conceal my excitement without alarming my hubby, luckily he was too busy watching football to notice me putting on makeup and getting dressed to meet Dwayne. He asked me where I was going and I told him the usual: night out with my girlfriends! He didn’t give it a second thought.

Just me with my girlfriends. The night I met Dwayne.

Just me with my girlfriends, the night I met Dwayne.

I drove over to his office. It was marked by a big sign over the building: Dwayne’s Bail bonds! I was so excited! It was right next to the Cheezy Dough Pizzeria where I always eat out!! I knew it was a safe place, and convenient! As soon as he saw my car pull up, he walked over and opened the door to let me out, what a gentlemen! We walked in together and he gave me a tour of his place, I felt like queen for once. Then he wanted to show me his office, and I started thinking maybe I shouldn’t… But what could I do, my mouth just opened up and said yes! Crap I thought, now I have to go in, but I wanted to see it.. We went in and the first thing I noticed was his desk and how big it was! I must admit I got a slight tingly feeling just from the size of his desk. Then he went on and on about his job, and I tried my best to listen, but I didn’t understand all the complicated legal stuff lol, but it turned me on knowing this was a powerful man that could handle himself. After looking at all those pictures of people on the wall that he bailed out, Dwayne used a remote control to play some music and we snorted a few lines of cocaine together off of his desk. Then he pointed down at something in his desk and told me to check out the drawer. When I bent over the desk to open the drawer, I caught him staring at my ass! I got worried, i was afraid, the jig was up. I started to get nervous knowing that he was just thinking about me as a piece of meat. Ughhh, is that all that men want? Then all of the sudden I farted!!!! 😦 …..

Dwayne laughed at me loudly as I blushed, I was so embarrassed! “Would he no longer think I’m cute and sexy?” I thought. I was so scared he would think I’m a gross woman now that I farted. He had this look on his face like he had suddenly lost some interest, so I knew as a woman it was my job to turn the tables. I pretended it was no big deal and opened the drawer, and to my surprise the drawer had a secret lever that opened up part of the desk, turning it into a futon! My hero! I giggled knowing I had found my chance to show him that I’m still sexy. I fell into the futon and all the sudden we were both naked. Dwayne was fucking me in my ass really hard. I thought I was getting carpet burn, he was really hairy, and he humps to hard, enough to rattle the pictures on his wall. “Baby, I’m about to bust…” As soon as he said that I sighed with relief, I knew it would be over.. and then Dwayne pulled out his dick and came all over the top of his nice shiny big desk. “What a mess baby, you gotta help clean this up. Here you go…” Dwayne pulled out the pink crazy straw we had used previously to snort cocaine and instructed me snort his semen off the desk. Gross :(. At first I hesitated, but then he lashed me with a leather whip “snort it bitch!” It was disgusting, and I started to cry because I had no choice. He was sitting in his big black office chair, with his feet propped up on my back and the leather whip in his hands, ready to whip me. It kind of turned me on though… 😦 Worse yet, some of the jizz got stuck in my nostrils/throat, it was like really smelly mucus. Was I being raped? No, this was just deviant stuff, just like in 50 shades of grey. I just had to suck it up and enjoy, it’s just role playing.

“Bitch, it’s about time you go home, I’m dumping you off!” I was again feeling relief, even though he lead me out of his office and into one of his bounty hunting vehicles with a leash around my neck. We got in and he drove me home. He dropped me off at the curb in front of my house and drove of swiftly. I felt so violated, I wanted to cry right there. It was cold and dark, and I was naked, sporting only a ball gag and leash. He just left me there! What a jerk! And then all of the sudden I heard the noise clanging noise of a garbage truck off in the distance. And that’s when I noticed all of my neighbors had their trash out on the end of their driveways. “Every driveway except mine! It’s trash night! Holy shit!!!” I rushed back into the house and got up all my trash just in time to hand it to the garbage men. When they drove up and stepped off their garbage truck, there was a dead silence, and then they started to grin. The first one got excited, “Yo baby, what’s this goin’ on?” and then he touched my boobs. 😦 That wasn’t in the book!

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