It was just another day around the house. My hubby was sitting in the recliner reading some newspaper while I was making my special southern sweet tea that I normally drink everyday. I added a few extra cups of sugar and poured a cup for my hubby, which he never finished, so I just drank the rest of the pitcher of tea by myself. I felt my blood rush from all the sugar, and I still felt thirsty afterwards, weird. I asked my hubby why I’m always thirsty after drinking sweet tea and he told me I should try drinking water, YUCK! Plain water is gross!!! Just like plain vegetables, yuck. Then my cellphone rang, so I picked it up. It was my best friend Lisa!! She invited me over to her house because her new boyfriend and his guy friends were coming over. I was so excited I quickly grabbed my coat and headed for the door. My hubby put down his paper, got up, and stood in front of the door. He asked me where I was going, but I just told him I couldn’t explain and pushed him out of the way.
On my way to my friends house I suddenly realized I should probably be a good guest and bring some food or something. I know I’d be hungry and thirsty when I got there and I didn’t want to be that girl… The one that eats all the food but didn’t bring any. I’ve crossed that line too many times before, ughhh I feel like such a little piggy. Anyways I parked my car and ran into the grocery store really quick, I got a few cases of Mountin Dew and chips and a gallon of french onion dip too. I loaded it all into the cart as fast as I could and was on my way out. Once I made it outside, in front of the grocery store’s entrance this man approached me. At first I got nervous because I thought he was hitting on me, I had my hand firmly on a bottle of mace in my purse. He said his name was Doug, he was tall white and hairy, but I don’t normally get approached by any white guys so something seemed really wrong about this picture. He asked me if I needed some help with my groceries, but I wasn’t sure what to say, so I just said sure. He helped me load them into my car. I was about to thank him and drive away, when he asked me for a favor. I mean, he just helped me with my groceries so I couldn’t just ignore him. When people help me I always help them with anything in return. What would Jesus do? He told me that his puppy went missing somewhere around the store and he needed help finding it. Since I love puppies I was more than happy to help.
He had me follow him over to the back of the grocery store where he said he last saw his puppy. I wasn’t sure what was going on, but at this point something seemed off. He asked me to inspect something behind one of the dumpsters. At this point I was pretty sure he was planning to rape me, so I reached into my purse to pull out my mace and spray this rapist wannabe in the face! As soon as I grabbed it and pulled it out, he started laughing at me.. I couldn’t understand why he was laughing, I was about to pepper spray him. Then I realized I was holding my dildo, ughhhh!! I can’t believe it was still in my purse. Can you blame me for having a dildo though? My husband has a micro-prick!!!! Anyways he just laughed at me and my face turned red. I was so embarrassed and scared at the same time! I started screaming for help when a black man nearby noticed my cries for help. He ran over to me and I was sure he was going to rescue me from this creeper. The black man asked me if everything was alright and the creeper got scared. I asked him if he could help me… But I forgot that the dildo was still in my hand, and when he saw it he unzipped his pants. ughhh Now I had to deal with two creeps. I was cornered, and before I knew it I had two dicks shoved in my mouth :(. My eyes started to water because they were really rough, it felt like my tonsil was being removed. I wanted to throw up too. And I got a little throw up in my mouth and it was spicy, because yesterday I ate too much hot salsa. I tried to throw up as much as I could, hoping it would gross them out, but instead it just turned them on. I hate throwing up all the good food I ate :(. Finally they jizzed and I was prayin’ it would be over, but some of the jizz got on the pavement and the white man grabbed me by the hair and made me lick it up like I was some kind of dog. Then they took my dildo and used it to fuck me in my asshole, and some shit got on it. They made me play fetch the dildo, until the dildo was thrown into the dumpster, and I couldn’t find it!
Ughhhh, why does this always happen to me? I felt so dirty, my clothes ruined, what was I to do? I debated whether or not I should go to my friend’s house still, but then I remembered I bought all that food and I promised my friend Lisa that I’d see her. I had to cover this up somehow, I needed a story. When I got to her house, everyone saw that my clothes were ruined and tattered, that I looked destroyed, and they even noticed I had bruises around my lips (from being fucked in the mouth so hard). I told them my hubby beat me. Lisa and I cried together and hugged it out, then our little get together turned into a sympathy party. Somehow she read my mind, because the next day we went shopping together and she bought me a dildo. I got a new one yay!