How to turn your Man into a Gentleman

I complain about my hubby a lot, but the truth is that sometimes he can be a wonderful gentleman! All it takes is a few days of the silent treatment, and then he comes back to me like a sad little puppy dog!! Aww, I love puppies! Anyway, after the silent treatment he learned his lesson! He knew he needed to make things right again, so I had him take me out to a lobster dinner (good boy!). Before we went into the restaurant, he forgot to open the door, I had to remind him that ladies come first and I made a mean face! He snapped back into shape and then he held the chair out for me before we sat down. We went out a few more nights that week and he remembered pull the chair out on his own! it sent my heart racing that he remembered how to be a gentleman; it reminded me of why I made this man my official hubby!

But that was last week, this week he didn’t bring me any flowers from work, and forgot to take me out to dinners. SHAME ON HIM!!! I kept a check list in my secret diary, and after 3 checks, strike! My hubby was out. I thought about giving him one more chance before punishing him with the silent treatment, but then I caught him watching porn again, ughhh men are disgusting! He was right in front of the family computer with his pants down when I caught him, I had to yell at him and slam a few doors. He went to the store and came back home with some flowers, but I just grabbed them out of his hands and smacked him in the head with the rose buds. I gave him a mean face for the rest of the week and didn’t say anything to him until yesterday, when I needed him to drive me to my friend’s house.

I told my hubby that I wanted him to drive me to my friend Melinda’s house, because I was about to purchase a camera from her. I had made up this story about how I was getting really into photography, although I do have a Tumblr account somewhere… Anyway, I told my hubby that I also needed 400 dollars for the camera, and he didn’t hesitate to give me the money. We had been driving for half an hour when I got a phone call from Malinda asking me if I was on my way. Malinda is actually my secret lover, I just put him down as Melinda in my cell phone just in case my hubby every saw the caller id — a nice trick all girls should have in their playbook (LEARN FROM THE BEST!). After chatting on the phone for a few minutes, I told Melinda that we had made it to the house and hung up, and my husband parked the car in front of the house. I told my hubby to sit tight, “I’ll only be a few minutes sweety-poo.” Hubby nodded his head and I exited the car. Then I headed inside of the house with the money, and Tommy (aka Melinda) opened the door but stayed inside in the foyer. Then he shut the door behind me and we got to business.

Tommy asked me for the money so I gave it to him right away, he snatched it out of my hand and told me to strip naked. He’s a big strong man that could hurt me, so I had no choice but to do whatever he said! I took off my clothes as fast as I could. He bent me over and shoved his greasy, hairy cock up my ass while choking me with his big lumberjack hands. While he was molesting me, he had me face the window so I could see my hubby waiting for me in the car. “Look, your husband is sitting in that car waiting for you, he deserves better than you. You’re such a filthy piece of shit whore. I hate you bitch” and as he said that he started really humping me hard, until blood came out of my butt, it hurt so badd!!! 😦  Some of my blood got on the wood floor and I wanted to scream, but Tommy’s pit-bull rushed in to lick it up. Tommy then made me bend over further and lick some off the blood off the floor too. Ewww, I’m not a dog!

He was so mad at me for making a mess in his foyer, he said wanted to punish me even more. So he dragged me by my hair into the kitchen for lemonade. MMMMmmm I love lemonade! But then he told me to open my mouth and he pissed in my mouth, that’s not lemonade!!! Asshole! I told him I didn’t like the taste so he slapped me! Then he jizzed on the floor and made me lick it up like a dog, all while he had his foot on the back of my head. And some of that jizz ended up in my hair, I could never forgive him for that. At that point I wanted to scream rapist and run back to my hubby, but I knew I couldn’t… My hubby couldn’t find out the truth. I ended up sleeping over Tommy’s house and making him my famous french toast for breakfast, because I can still be a decent, loving, caring person in spite of being held captive by a rapist! He decided to help make breakfast, and buttered my toast. Then after breakfast I suddenly realized that I left my hubby waiting outside. I ran over to the foyer to look through the window. My hubby was still there! Such a good man, he waited for me, I knew he loved me. I open the door and walked briskly back to the car!

My hubby looked really grumpy and asked me why it took so long. I gave him a mean look and told him that I got carried away taking pictures of cats. He smiled and I gave him a big kiss! He lightened up and we drove home. That’s my gentleman, he always waits for me! I felt guilty about being with Tommy, but then I realized it wasn’t my fault since he raped me (hellooo he was wearing a ski mask!!! and he got jizz in my hair, not cool! I never want to see him again!!!!!!!!!) When we got home, my hubby told me he saw a man in the house wearing a ski mask, I told him that was Melinda’ hubby  🙂

Moral of the story is sometimes I have to make mean faces or give my hubby the silent treatment, but after punishing him he turns out to be a gentleman. He always comes through as my little white knight. Yay!