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Normally on this blog I post recipes, but this recipe isn’t a dish you can eat, this is different. This is a recipe for true love.

There are no exact ingredients for true love, it just comes together perfectly. It’s like Magic. You can’t expect anything either, you just have to know in your heart that it will happen, just like in The Secret. That’s exactly what happened to me when I went to community college and met my wonderful Hubby. We were both in the same introduction to arithmetic class for special students. It was a night class with only a handful of attendees. Some how because of fate, one night a man sat next to me, and that’s when I noticed he was a football player for the campus football team. He looked so big and strong, I started to get a tingly feeling in my stomach. I pretended to accidentally drop my pencil, and blushed when he picked it up and handed it to me — that’s just my gentleman test 😉  He introduced himself to me, his name was Devontius.

Anyway, next night we had class I showed up early and sat in the same exact place, waiting for him. All of the other students came in and sat down, and so did the teacher. Class started, but Devontius was missing! I quietly started to panic on the inside. Then the door swung open and he came in, all sweaty from a long football practice, with his jersey on and a football clenched in his hand. The teacher stood up from his desk and yelled at him for being late again, but Devontius slapped him across the face and called him a bitch before he could finish. The teacher ran out of the class and headed down the hall to summon campus security. Meanwhile, Devontius looked at me and asked me if I wanted to come with him. Of course I said YES! A real man knows when to seize the moment. We ran in the opposite direction together, and he led me into the ladies restroom. We hid in a stall, quietly for a few hours, waiting for the whole situation to cool down. We could hear men running around in the hallway outside with their loud walky-talkies blasting — they were looking for Devontius. I was getting scared, but Devontius put his big black hand over my mouth and calmly smiled. Then a few minutes later I heard him unzip his pants, and he bent me over the toilet. He dropped the football he had in his hand as he started pounding me in the butt. While he was busy putting it in my butt, I asked him if he was wearing a condom and he donkey-punched me :/ Ouch. Once he did that, I knew it was a rape attempt!! I started to scream and he put my head in the toilet to try to drown me! Luckily campus security heard me scream!!!

They burst into the ladies restroom and saw the football lying on the floor of the stall I was being raped in. Devontius shoved my head back into the toilet and flushed it. I thought I was going to die! Anyway, he knew the jig was up. With his pants still down, he kicked open the door of the stall, grabbed the football and threw it at the security guards. What an asshole!! I guess he knew he was going to jail anyway. The police were also there and they dragged him away in handcuffs. I don’t understand how such a handsome, well to do young man could have turned out to be such a rotten sick asshole, oh well. Anyway, after they dragged Devontius away, my teacher came to my rescue and pulled my head out of the toilet. He wrapped a blanket around me and asked me if I was ok. I was cryin’, but I held onto him, and next thing I knew, a few months later, I walked down the aisle with him and we got married! I love my Hubby! ❤ ❤ ❤

Love just happens.

12 thoughts on “A recipe for true love

  1. I hope they locked him up and threw away the key.

    No great loss about the class though…you don’t really any math beyond finding the best sales 😉

    ~Desiree, fellow LLF (large luscious female)

  2. It was after college right around the same time I started grad school. I only had a few boyfriends during college, but I dated around non-exclusively a lot (if men can use us for our bodies, we can do the same with them). There were two men I saw regularly after college in a noncommittal manner – one of which, Keith, had a roommate named Harold that I also began seeing.

    Now, unlike the other two men, I wasn’t sleeping with Harold…I dunno, it just felt different, you know? Like he was someone I could really cozy up and settle down with. Call me a sort of old-fashioned girl (lol!), but I played a little hard to get. He took me out to dinner where I’d order the most expensive thing – just so he knew I was worth it (you writing this down, girls??).
    It’s like, okay, I saw a lot of guys and used them for their bodies, but this guy was obviously a gentleman that knew how to treat a woman. Every woman talks about wanting that “old-fashioned” kind of guy that respects women and doesn’t see them as sex objects every chance he got, so before falling head-over-heals for him, I wanted to…you know, test him. Make sure he was truly worth it.

    Anyway, so one day, while in the, er, throws of passion with Keith on the couch in their apartment, Harold comes home from law school early and sees me bent over facing him, with me and Keith looking right at him! Now, being caught in the act is bad enough, but Harold walked on us at *literally* the worst possible moment, if you know what I mean. Keith, startles, pull out and spills his seed all over the couch!!!! Poor Harold, seeing this, turned BRIGHT RED and just left…so the next day I come back to see if Harold wanted to take me to lunch, and there he was – with the apartment door ajar – with a spraycan full of stain remover, scrubbing the couch!

    So without saying anything I walk over to him…he looks up, and I kissed him for the first time, whispering, “youre worth it.” He took me to lunch. A month later, he confessed his love for me…and a short while after that, we made love for the first time. It was magic…indescribable magic.

    Fooling around in college is fun, but it’s just a preamble to the real think, y’know?

    That’s love.

    ~Desiree

  3. desiree- large luscious female? is that a way of saying im obese but beautiul because if it is you are insane. no “normal” guy finds fat women hot or attractive. you must be with some loser who just got out of 20year stretch in prision and you are the only ass(female) he can get because hes suh a loser. name me one male celebrity dating a fat women you delusional idiot. face it your ugly, unhealthy and if you think your attractive your also crazy. hit the gym and eat healthy before you get diabetes and lose your feet or suffer from a heart attack in your mid 40´s.

    • Aw, that’s cute.

      Let me give you a little insight to *my* life. Private college, got laid ALL the time. Out of college, married a lawyer (and before that, dated two other men nonexclusively). We bought our first home 18 months ago. So at what point, dear, did your lunatic rant actually hit on anything remotely accurate?

      Name a male celebrity? Moron. It’s the MEDIA that’s at the forefront of anti-fat propaganda. That’s like challenging racism by saying “name me one KKK member that’s dating a black woman.” You dumb fucking PUA (lol) stooge.

      You’re right, I’m fat. Fat and happy. You know what? I think I’m going to take it easy today, eat some chocolate, and wait for hubby to come home to go down on me. I LOOOOOVE being a woman.

      kisses.

      ~Desiree

      • how can you love being hated? how can you love knowing your unhealthy and will die early? how can love not being able to buy clothes you want because they dont fit you?

        on to your husband. . . im sure hes a major beta pussy. see how far he gets in office politics when his coworkers learn hes married to a land whale. he will not be respected. btw what kind of man lets their wife hyphenate her name? a pussy thats who. so congrats you married a douchy pussy.

        btw any woman who brags about sex and getting it all the time most likely didnt. any normal girl can get laid all the time if she wants. you see thats the difference between a stud and a slut, it is hard to be a stud, its fucking easy to be a slut. my guess is you have incredibly low self esteem since deep down you know your obesity makes you unfuckable to 99% of men and thats why you feel the need to BRAG about getting sex all the time.

        btw the media is fat biased for a reason, the same reason their ugly biased. the audience doesnt want to see them on tv. the only time i enjoy watching fatties are those weight loss shows which hilariously depict how out of shape and pathetic they are.

  4. Yeah, but here’s the thing hun: I’m only hated by bullshit internet players on message boards. In real life (yeah, that’s a thing) I have awesome friends, quite a few former lovers, and a wonderful husband.

    A woman bragging about having *had* sex is worlds less pathetic than men debating on forums about how to *get* sex. Um, wait. Which one of us is the dominant gender again?

    Oh no! I married a “douchy pussy?” Well, see, my hubby makes good money, takes care of me, and eats out a good pussy. Frankly, internet player, you can call him whatever you want. I don’t give a damn.

    You don’t give a shit about national health, nor do you give a shit about rampant feminism or whatever the fuck you rant about in your lonely spare time. Youre just completely frustrated that you put forward all this effort to be a [fake] “alpha stud,” and someone like me can just sit around, getting fatter, and have sexual pleasure come to me.

    I’m a woman. A strong woman. Do yourself a favor, sweetie, and just try to deal with it. K?

    ~Desiree

  5. Oh, and I have a very satisfying active life, too. I’m an avid hiker, and used to take extensive long walks before problems unrelated to my weight forced me to take a hiatus (just numbless, tingling in feet, likely from vertigo).

  6. I’m launching my own blog, “Red, White, and Woman.” You might learn a few things if you all would take your head out of your asses (will include progress reports and excerps from my master’s thesis).

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